Replacing you
by Last Munichorn
Summary: Summer finds out that her room mate at college is no one other than Alex Kelly and things just go much further since Marissa goes to the same college and lives on the same floor.
1. About Time

Chapter 1

Summer was really nervous when she entered her room at the university. She was totally happy about the fact that she would be going to the same university as her best friend Marissa but she was still nervous about who and how her room mate would be. Marissa on the other hand wouldn't care about that. If her room mate was blond she would fuck her, otherwise she would either have her as a friend or just ignore her. That's just Marissa. She doesn't really care about anything – well despite Summer. They were best friends and she new the taller brunette would always be there for her. She just wasn't the same since what happened almost 2 years ago…since-

Summer was interupted and couldn't end her thought when someone opened the door. _That must be my room mate, _she thought. As the door opens completely and reveals the person coming in with some bags in hands, Summer was dumbfounded. She couldn't stop staring, neither could the blonde at the door. They just stared at each other.

"Alex? Is this you?" Summer heard herself say.

"Summer?" Alex was beyond shocked. She couldn't believe her eyes what she saw there standing in front of her only e few meters away.

"The famous Alex Kelly, never thought I'd see you again. What happened to your purple streak?"

"Also didn't think I'd meet you ever again. Well it kind of didn't fit anymore. What do you mean by famous?" Alex was confused.

"Well people will be happy to finally see who Marissa is trying to replace."

"Marissa is here, too? You have to be kidding me. And stop making jokes. Marissa and me never really left the ground and started flying."

"Yes, Marissa is here. Actually her room is at the end of the floor. But I wonder why you are here? I thought you never finished school?"

"Well", Alex started, "I didn't. But when I left Newport I got back to my parents' house and decided to redo it and graduate. Well and after that I thought about what to do next and university seemed to me like the best option. It's actually a long story."

"Kay, I will act like I understand. You changed. You seem a lot more settled. Less punk, more girlie and not as bitchy as before. Look what 2 years can change. Well, when I look at Marissa, I can see even more how much people can change."

"So you and Marissa aren't best friends anymore?"

"Yes, we are but she's just changed a lot after you left."

"Oh don't make this about me, you know Marissa didn't love me. It was always just Ryan." Alex remembered the day she left. Alex threw a party with all of her friends and Marissa should bring Summer along, which was not possible because she didn't even tell Summer. After the party Marissa came back and tried to talk to her but Alex had already packed all of her bellongings. She knew this wouldn't work.

_"Alex?What is going on?" After Marissa had rang the bell several times, Alex opened the door and when Marissa could look behind her girlfriend she found bags and boxes everywhere._

"_I'm going back to L.A."_

_Marissa couldn't believe her ears. She shook her head and looked at Alex with tears forming in her eyes. "Alex…why? I will tell Summer, I swear, I just couldn't yet. I don't even know why, it's just so confusing and new and-"_

_Alex cut her off. "Don't. It's ok. This is not what you want and we both know that._

"Alex?….Alex??" Summer waved in front of the blonde's face and finally Alex stepped back into reality.

"Yeah?"

"Marissa never got back together with Ryan AND she told me about you relationship the day you left."

"Why does that even matter anymore? It's not like this is present. It was two fucking years ago."

"When you had left, I held her like forever, trying to comfort her. After a few weeks of hiding and crying in her room she went back to school again. She always said you wouldn't want her to skip school. After you left she slept with Ryan a few times. For her it was meaningless. Just trying to forget and she told Ryan that she didn't love him. In fact when she was out on weekends she always had another random girl with her. She fucked another girl every week it didn't matter. All that mattered was that she was blonde. After Ryan told her that he didn't want her to do other people than him anymore, she ended it up with him and after graduation she talked me into moving and going to university far away from Newport. She didn't want to be there anymore. And there was probably no blond girl in the surrouning of 100 miles that she hadn't fucked yet. So we ended up here. Well what would be greater and more important than going to university with your best friend? "

"What about Seth?" Alex got out.

"That's all you have to say after my impressing speech? Well fine, Seth is here, too. And before you ask: Ryan isn't. He's at another university with his girlfriend."

"So this is just all about fucking me?"

"No it isn't." Summer started again. "For her having sex with you is not just fucking. What she has with those girl _is _just fucking though."

"How would you-" Alex got cut off bye Summer – again.

"How I would know the two of you had sex? Well she told me about it right when she told me about your relationship and that you left her for not telling me."

"That's so not true." Alex shouted. Summer looked at her full of surprise. She didn't expect Alex to freak out like that. She looked at her with questionmarks in her eyes. "I didn't break up with her because she didn't tell you. The fact that she didn't tell you was just a hint for her not wanting me. And when she came by my appartment that afternoon she looked so not ready for this whole relationship. I just couldn't deal with that. I fell for her so fast but I knew it wouldn't work. So I just broke it off before it would break my heart even more. You said she didn't call sex with me _fucking. What-_"

"When it comes to you", Summer jumps in, "she calls it _making love_." Summer smiled at Alex. "You're the only one she ever talked about making love with. When I held her she told me about the night two days before you left and that it was the most amazing thing she ever felt."

Alex just stood there not sure what to say. The two girls just looked at each other for a little while as they heard someone laughing and running down the floor. Summer glanced at her watch. It read 10:38 pm.

"That's probably Marissa with some blond chick she met here." Summer shrugged.

Alex just stood there, not sure of what to say.

"You just want to stand here?What about stopping her?" Summer asked the blonde in front of her.

"What do you mean? Why would I want to interrupt this?"

"Oh don't act like that. I'm not dump. You didn't get over her either. Just go. It's about time."


	2. It has always been about you

Chapter 2

"_Its about time." _

Alex just stood there not sure what she was supposed to do and still stared at Summer.

"Alex? Are you still here with me?"

No answer.

"Alex??"

Still Alex didn't even bother to answer and just turned around to rush out of the door.

As Summer was left there alone in their room, she smiled to herself and for one time she was really sure that she did something very important.

Alex walked down the floor. She knew the direction because she noticed where the laughter from earlier went to. Still she didn't really know which room belonged to Marissa. When she heard someone giggle, she was finally pretty sure in which room Marissa would be in, no matter if it was hers or not. Without even thinking about it, Alex knocked very strong at the wooden door. It took a few moments for the door to open. Alex didn't even notice that she was still knocking hesistantly when the door open very fast and she almost knocked someone in the face.

The person in front of Alex wasn't Marissa. There was some blond chick in front of her who's hair was a really big mess. But still Alex knew she was at the right door. She didn't say anything.

"Can I help you?" The blond girl asked her.

"Who is it?" A familiar voice came from the background.

"I don't know. Some blond whore," the blond chick said, her head turned around to the inside of the room. She turned back to Alex. "Look tonight it's finally my turn. Just come back tomorrow. I'm sure she will-"

"Shut up!" Alex managed to throw out.

Suddenly Marissa came up behind the random girl in front of Alex. Without even looking at Alex she wrapped her arms around the chick and kissed her neck.

"Can we continue now?" Marissa said without any motion in her voice.

The girl turned her head around and kissed Marissa fiercely trying to close the door in front of Alex. Finally the blonde was able to get some words out and stopped the closing door with her foot.

"Marissa?"

Finally Marissa looked up and immediately unwrapped herself from the girl to look at Alex. Marissa was shocked and the girl just stood there and waited impatiently for Marissa to say something.

"So what is it? Can we go back to bed now?"

"No!" Marissa said with fury in her voice. "You have to go now."

"But-"

"Which part of that didn't you get?" She said to the chick full of anger.

Without any more words the girl ran off and left the two alone to themselves.

Neither one of them was able to say something. They just stared at each other. After what seemed like an eternity Marissa's face turned from supprised to angry.

"What do you want Alex?"

"I want you to stop." That was all Alex could say.

"Stop doing what?"

"Stop fucking around with all those girls."

"Ah, and how do you know there's girls and not just this one girl. What if she's my girlfriend?"

"You would never treat someone you love like you just treated her. I can tell. And well people talk so I know that it wasn't just this one girl."

"Yeah, but why the fuck should I stop. It's none of your damn business."

"That's what you think? Well I think, as you're doing this is all because of me – sorry for my big selfconfidence – that _would_ be my business. Does fucking them help forgetting me or what does it do good to you?" Alex watched Marissa, who was dumbfounded by Alex's words. _I think I pushed the right buttons, she's actually thinking about it now, _Alex thought.

"It's not to forget you because I never could forget you. It's my way of replacing you. Trying to deal. If I can't have you, I just go ahead and fuck those girls. Best way to keep me occupied."

"You can't be serious? But well, if it's just that… no problem."

Alex just pushed Marissa aside and walked past her, finally entering the room. Marissa still stood at the door and watched Alex sitting down on her bed. She looked at her full of confusion.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Well, this is all about fucking me, then go ahead, fuck me but stop fucking all those girls. It looks horrible on you and it isn't what you are."

"This is _not_ about fucking you, Alex. And I don't think you really know me anymore." Marissa muttered the last part but Alex still heard it.

"Then what is it all about? Tell me."

"It's…I just…After you left I was…" Tears spilled into Marissa's eyes. This was truly something she didn't like thinking about.

Alex waited patiently for her to continue. Marissa closed the door to sit on a chair at her desk.

"I really wanted this relationship, I did. All I needed was a little time. I never fell so fast for anyone and it was confusing. After you left, I told Summer everything. Why would I have done that if I wasn't ready for this? I could have just kept it a secret, but I didn't. And now 2 years later all those things don't even matter anymore. So are you happy now? Now that you know that I'm still not over you and that I _did _love you?"

Alex didn't know what to say. _Did she just say "love"?_

"This is _not _about fucking you," Marissa continued, "It's about making love to you, being with you, kissing you, walking at the beach with you, holding hands with you, lying on the couch with you and watching you sleep instead of keeping attention to the TV screen. It _is _about you, but not about fucking you. It has always been about you."

Alex just sat there on the bed, still not capable to say anything yet. She saw a tear running down Marissa's face. That was too much for Alex. She couldn't deal with that. She just couldn't. This was way too much. She stood up and walked out of Marissa's room trying very hard to controle herself not to look back which didn't help. She looked over her shoulder once and saw a confused and very hurt Marissa now standing and looking at her. She closed the door behind her and leaned against the wall next to it.

_Did she say "love"?_


	3. Searching for you

**I'm sorry for letting you wait. Well I was on vacation this week in munich, my home town and decided to take some time without internet. I was just really exausted from work. It's freaking hell these days. Now I'm back working and also back for you. Hope you like it. More will follow soon.**

Chapter 3

Alex still stood next to the door to Marissa's room. After a few minutes she heard footsteps in the room and was sure that Marissa would come out of her room. She ran to her room and literally jumped into it and slammed the door behind her, leaning against it and breathing very fast.

Summer jumped up from her bed and looked at Alex full of surprise. What did happen? Alex had shock written on her face. Without any word she lay down on her bed, not even caring to change clothes and put a blanket over her whole body, head included. Summer was not sure if she should say something. But she was just too curious to the happenings in her best friend's room. She walked over to Alex's bed, sat down on it and caressed Alex's shoulder though the blanket. Still the blonde didn't even look at her.

"Alex?"

"Sleeping…"

"No you obviously aren't sleeping." Summer smiled a bit but changed her face to a serious one when she saw that the blonde girl lying next to her still looked at the wall.

"Alex, what happened?"

"Nothing, well not what you think. It's…nothing."

Summer wanted to ask her about it in more detail or at least any detail when her cell suddenly rang. She rolled her eyes and walked over to her night stand to take the call.

"Marissa?"

"Ssssummer? Could you…pleassse p-pick me up. I don' know hhhhow to get home."

"Honey you're drunk. Where are you?"

Suddenly Alex looked up. _How could she get drunk in such a damn short time? _Alex thought.

"I don't know…ssssome bar near campus. Pleassssse take me home."

That was the last thing Marissa said, then she just closed her cell. Summer was shocked and also worried. She didn't know where to find Marissa. All she knew was that the brunette was very drunk. This reminded her of their weekend in TJ. Marissa almost died that night.

She looked at Alex who had a guilty look on her face.

"What the fuck did happen. Would you please tell me now, Alex?"

"Where is she?"

"What? Just answer my question." Alex just looked at her and Summer gave in.

"I don't know where she is. She said she is in some bar near the campus. That's all I know."

When Summer opened her mouth to ask her question again, Alex got up from her bed and ran out of the room, slamming the door behind her. _This is all my fault. She drank because of me. I have to find her, as fast as possible,_ Alex thought. She ran down the campus an searched for something that looked like a bar. She saw one and just ran into it. She entered it and walked over to the bar to ask the bartender if he saw Marissa.

"Did you see some drunken brunette here? She's a bit taller than me, very beautiful. You would notice her."

"I'm not sure, the description could fit a lot of girls. Do you have a picture of her?"

Alex took her pocket out and showed the bartender an earlier picture from her and Marissa. "It's two years old, but she hasn't changed very much."

"Yes, she was here, she exited a few minutes ago. She was madly drunk. Came here, drank about 10 shots of vodka or even more and then she just paid and left after she made a phone call."

"Fuck!" That was all Alex was able to say. Then she just took off in a hurry.

Alex stepped out the door of the bar and looked down the street, first left thant right. She turned around a few times, checking out every direction. She chose one and began to run. She looked down every little street and began to panic more an more as she didn't find her. Suddenly her cell rang.

"Hello?"

"Alex?" Summer was on the other end of the phone.

"Yeah, it's me."

"Did you find her already? I'm really starting to get worried. What if somethin happened?" The concern in Summers voice was evident.

"I won't let anything happen to her. I could never forgive myself if something bad would happen to her. She's not at the bar anymore, but I will find her Summer, I promise. Just stay home, maybe she walked back to the campus. Check her room once in a while, I'll talk to you later. Bye." With that Alex hung up and continued looking for Marissa.


	4. I care about you

**I don't really like that chapter but I felt like writing it. Just bad mood right now but I hope it's not that bad. I try to continue soon. Please let me know what you think of it so far.**

Chapter 4

She was walking through the streets for like an hour now and has no idea where Marissa could be. In some little alley she leaned against the wall, totally exhausted and sank down. She held her face in her hands and was on the edge of crying.

_I failed. I totally fucking failed. I don't know where to look anymore. I just flopped…as always. But this time it can't happen. I can't fail. I have to find her. I promised Summer. And I could never forgive myself if _anything_ happened to her. I have to go on searching. I need to._

She managed to stand up again and walked to the main road again to continue looking for Marissa. She felt her heart ache with every second that went on without any hint of where Marissa would be. She felt the pain in her feet caused by the walking around for over an hour. Sometimes she ran, soimetimes she slowed down to look in some strees more precisely. Another hour went by and Summer called like 5 times now. Everytime Marissa's best friend called her she just hoped that she had good news and her ex girlfriend came back to the university but there was always just the concerned Summer who was asking Alex if she already found Marissa. As if that would help in _any_ way. Well she was just worried. Who could blame her?

As Alex looked into another side alley she finally saw her. Marissa was sitting on the ground, leaning against a wall. Alex ran over to her and fell to her knees in front of the brunette.

"Marissa? Are you okay?"

"What are you doing here? I suffered enough. I think we're even now. I suffered the last two years for letting you go and tonight you let me suffer again. So just go. I get it. I hurt you and I deserve that pain now."

Alex was in shock, looking into the brown shining eyes in front of her. It was evident that tears escaped from those eyes earlier.

"I was just worried about you. You drank because of me and if anything would have happened to you, I would have never forgiven myself. And I promised Summer to find you."

"Ah so you're afraid that someone would blame you. What does that even have to do with Summer? I told _her _to come get me, not you."

"Well, I'm Summer's room mate and she told me that you're drunk, so I ran to search for you. And it is not about the blame. I just couldn't live with you getting hurt."

"You are Summer's room mate? So that's where you got all the information. Great my best friend stabs me into the back. And instead of getting me home, she sends you. Brilliant. Why would it even bother you, if someone would hurt me or I would drink myself to death?"

"Well, ou told Summer you are at a bar. The bar you were at is about a block or two away from. How should she get you then? I searched for over 2 hours 'till I found you here. And I _do_ care about you."

"Why?" Marissa looked at Alex with hurt and even some anger. Here eyes were piercing through Alex and Alex first didn't know what to say. She opened her mouth and tried to answer but thought about it better. She closed her mouth again, leaned over to Marissa and kissed her softly on her left cheek.

Marissa was stunned. She watched Alex in surprise and saw the blond blushing slightly.

Suddenly Marissa was broken out of her daze, when Alex stood up and held her hand down to the brunette.

"Let's get you home or Summer will freak out because of concern," the blonde said with a little smile on her face.

Marissa took Alex's hand and stood up. Alex supported her with her arm around the slightly taller girl. They walked to the campus in silence. As they arrived on the floor, Summer jumped up from her sitting position in front of Marissa's room and huged the brunette.

"Oh my god, Marissa I was so worried. Are you okay?"

"Wow, Summer slow down, I'm fine. I just need some rest."

"Oh okay."

"I will take her to bed and make sure she's fine." Alex said, once again supporting Marissa with her arm around her waist. This time Marissa lay her arm over Alex's shoulders and that way the two girls entered Marissa's room. The blonde brought her ex to her bed and lay her down on it. She loosened her arm from the brunettes waist but Marissa didn't release herself from Alex. She had her hand around Alex's neck and looked into her ice blue eyes. Alex felt like falling for Marissa all over again. Marissa closed the gap between the two of them and captured the blonde's lips with her own. It was a soft kiss but still it was a longing one. Alex pulled away slightly and looked into the brown eyes in front of her. She recognized she was almost lying on the blonde and stood up a bit. She gave Marissa a kiss on her forehead and stood up completely.

"I think I should go now. You need to rest." Alex turned around to leave when she heard Marissa's quiet voice.

"Alex?" Alex turned her head around to look at the taller girl lying on the bed.

"Can't you stay and hold me?"

"I don't think that would be a good idea. I need to go now. Sleep well, Marissa."

With that Alex left Marissa's room, walked down the floor and entered her own. There was Summer already waiting impatiently for Alex.

"So what was that? I guessed it worked out between the two of you, didn't it?" Summer asked without waiting for Alex to close the door.

Alex entered completely, shut the door behind her and gave Summer a look.

"Not now, Summer. Please, we'll talk about it tomorrow or something. But not now."

With that Alex fell onto her bed and covered herself with a blanket, head and body turned to face the wall and not even caring to change clothes.


	5. It's been a while

**Well I just listened to one of my favorite songs and I somehow thought it would fit so I just needed to use it for my next chapter. Hope you enjoy it. Song is called "It's been a while" by Staind.**

Chapter 5

That night Alex hadn't found sleep yet. She looked at her clock on the night stand and it showed 2.33am. Summer fell asleep like hours ago but Alex just lay there and still stared at the wall. What happened tonight? Was Marissa really still in love with her? Was she ever really in love with her? To much happened for that one day. Beginning with the fact that she was the room mate of Summer Roberts. Up from there everything just got worse. Or was it even bad? Was it bad what she found out today? Would there be a way for her and Marissa?

Alex fell back to memories. She remembered her first meeting with Marissa at the Bait Shop. When she first saw the brunette she already knew she could fall for her very hard.

_It's been a while since I first saw you. _

It felt like she relived her whole relationship with Marissa all over again. Like they used to hang out befor they got together. Marissa spending time at her apartment and driving to Los Angeles with her. Valentine's Day when Marissa came to the Bait Shop after dinner with her mum and confessed her feelings to Alex. Their date at the beach that evening. Their first kiss…

_It's been a while since I've seen the way the candles light your face.  
It's been a while but I can still remember just the way you taste._

_********************_

A few hours later Marissa awoke in her room by the sound of a radio playing. Her room mate must have gotten home after her and woken up before her. What time was it? Marissa tried to move but just couldn't. she heard the song play and listened to the lyrics.

_It's been a while since I could say that I wasn't addicted.  
It's been a while since I could say I loved myself as well and...  
It's been a while since I've gone and fucked things up just like I always do._

Marissa felt a single tear run down her face. She really had fucked up things with Alex very badly. How could Alex even still care for her? And why – after two fucking years – could she still not forget the blonde and her being back made her world turn upside down?

_Why must I feel this way?  
Just make this go away  
Just one more peaceful day_

It would be so much easier not to love Alex, to be friends with her, if Alex would even want that. But with these feelings inside of her she cannot just be friends with the smaller girl. For Marissa it had to be all or nothing. Nothing would make more sense. Marissa was afraid to hurt Alex all over again. Why did Alex even bring her home last night and how? Marissa only remembered little things. Most of last night was just in a really deep haze and very unclear.

Marissa kind of managed to get out of her bed now now if you can call it like that. She rolled over in her bed and fell on the ground. She lay there staring at the ceiling and convulsed with pain. On the one hand there was her headache which definitelly not came from her fall from the bed but on the other hand she felt her ribs hurt like shit because she just fell on them on the wooden floor. She felt a pair of eyes on her and looked over to her room mate sitting on her bed, legs crossed and watching Marissa with a smile on her lips.

"Good morning sleepy head," the girl with dark brown hair greeted her.

"Morning." That was all Marissa was able to say.

"I'm sure you don't feel that well right now but I thought it would be nice to introduce myself to you."

The brunette stood up and held her hand down to Marissa helping her to get up. As Marissa stood the slightly taller girl shook their still interwhined hands

"My name is Tasha."

"Marissa."

"Yeah, well I thought so when I saw the blonde girl exiting our room last night. But it's fine. Feel free to do so, 'cause most of the time I'm at my boyfriend's room."

"Blonde girl? Alex…." Marissa started remembering a few things of last night. Alex even brought her to her room.

"You remember her name? People say you never remember names. Most of the time you don't even ask for them. Well so they told me."

"No, no. Alex is not one of them. She's my ex. The original if you wanna see it like that."

"Ah, I understand, she is the reason for all of this. So it's a good sign that she was there last night?"

"Well, I don't know. I haven't seen her for 2 years – until yesterday. I'm sorry,I need to go to the bathroom." With that Marissa disappeared and closed the door behind her, also locking it. She spilled some water in her face and then looked at herself in the mirror. In the background the song from earlier could still be heard. _She has it on repeat, great. _Marissa thought sarcasticly.

_It's been a while  
Since I could say  
I loved myself as well…_

Marissa looked at her face and saw the swolen packs under her eyes and the mess her hair was. She looked tired, exhausted, just really fucked up.

_It's been a while since I could... Look at myself straight._

She decided that a shower would be good for her, so she undressed herself and stepped into it, turning on the water. She stood under the shower for like half an hour just letting the water flow over her and mix with her salty tears. When she realized it won't get any better she turned the water off and exited the shower. She dried herself and tightened her towel around her body as she heard a knock on the door. It was Tasha.

"Marissa you have a visitor."

**That's it. Hope you liked it. More will follow soon.**


	6. Crawling back to you

So I hope you like my story so far. I haven't written in a very long time but it always kind of cured me. It might be frustrating at the moment or a little corny. Just had a bad break up. So just tell me then and I try to be better. Just review, it gives me the feeling that somebody actually reads this.

"_Marissa you have a visitor."_

Marissa stood in front of her washbowl dumbfounded, still staring at herself in the mirror. Her wet hair made her look a little bit exhausted. But when did she not look exhausted?, she thought to herself. Then she turned her gaze to the door. _Could that be Alex?_

"Just a Moment." Marissa realised that she had brought nothing new to wear after her shower so she just fastened the towel around herself and unlocked the door. She took the doorknob and hesitated for one second until she was sure she could deal with no matter what was waiting for her. She opened the door and in front of her stood a concerned looking Summer. Marissa wasn't sure if she was relieved or dissapointed that it was not Alex.

"Hey Sum. What's up?" Marissa asks, without any emotion in her voice.

"Well, first thing, I see your room mate is not blonde, that's a godd thing." Summer smiled at her best friend, but as she saw that Marissa didn't return that her smile faded.

"What happened yesterday and last night? Are you okay so far? You look horrible."

"Well thanks and I'm perfect. Why don't you ask Alex, since she is your room mate and I needed to hear that from her instread of you? Oh yeah, and next time I'm not speaking clearly just tell me, because I really thought I asked you to pick me up last night and not Alex. But you're allowed to correct me if I'm wrong." Marissa looked at her best friend with anger.

"I did not send her to find you if you think that. As I hung up the phone I wanted her to tell me what had happened between the two of you and she just asked where you are and ran out of the door as I told her what I know."

"Why did you even tell her, this has nothing to do with her. I wanted my best friend to come and get me. A little discretion would be really nice. Just because she's your room mate now, doesn't mean you have to tell her everything." Marissa wasn't really mad at her, she was more mad at herself. She just needed an outlet to lose some air.

"Aaaah, right this has nothing to do with her? No, you're definitelly right. You just drunk your ass off in about half an hour - maybe less – because you saw Alex again after two years longing for her. It has absolutely nothing to do with her," Summer said and added as much sarcasm to her voice as even possible. "I mean, look at you Marissa, you're a mess. I'm your best friend. I just want you to be okay and I know you need her for that. I just wanted to make you happy. I don't even remember the last time I saw you laughing seriously."

"I laugh a lot. I do, don't I?" Marissa looked at her friend desperatly. Summer returned an earnest look. "I do laugh…from time to time. I do laugh. I… I think you should go Summer. I need to be alone now." She walked Summer to her apartment door and opened it.

"But…Marissa, can't you just tell me what's going on? What happened? Marissa, I'm your best friend." Summer was really confused.

"I just can't right now." With that Marissa slammed the door in her best friend's face and went over to her drawer, finally getting something to dress and disappeared to her bathroom again.

Marissa left the bathroom dressed and with dry hair but still without any make up she just went to the door and left her appartment. She didn't really know where she was about to go, she just needed to go _somewhere_.

_Everybody knows that I was such a fool to ever let go of you  
Baby I was wrong  
Yeah I know I said we'd be better off alone  
It was time that we moved on._

As Marissa reached the beach at about 6 p.m., she came to a stop. She walked down the stairs and took off her shoes to feel the warm sand between her toes. She walked down the beach near the water and sometimes the water touched her feet.

_I was lying to myself, now I'm dying in this hell  
Girl I know you're mad, I can't blame you for being mad._

As she was on a part of a beach where no one else besides her was, Marissa fell to her knees and her skinny jeans got totally wet and sandy. She felt tears running down her face and remembered the times that she was at the beach with Alex and when they were watching the sun go down.

_If you could see these tears I'm crying  
Touch these hands that can't stop shaking  
Hear my heart that's barely beating…_

"Marissa?"

Marissa turned her head around to look who called her and was dumbfounded as she saw Alex looking to her face which had evidence of fallen tears all over it. The brunette stood up her legs completely wet and dirty and stood in front of her ex-girlfriend. _How could I let someone as beautiful and perfect as her just leave? _Marissa thought to herself.

_But baby here I am  
Banging on your front door,  
My pride spilled on the floor.  
My hands and knees are bruised and now I'm crawling back to you.  
_

Alex stepped closer towards Marissa and brushed a tear from her cheek her hand still lingering on the taller girl's face. Then she just pulled her into an embrace and tried to comfort her as good as possible.

"I need you Alex," Marissa finally got out but it sounded more like a whisper into Alex's ear.

Alex was taken by surprise. She stepped back a bit and looked Marissa in the eyes, trying to see what she was thinking and feeling at that time but tears and pain was all she saw. _Why was she crying anyway?_, Alex thought.

"I need you and I still love you, always will," Marissa added to what she said before.

_Begging for a second chance  
Are you gonna let me in?  
I was running from the truth and now I'm crawling back to you._

"It doesn't work that way, Marissa. We haven't seen each other for 2 years now. A lot has changed since then."

Marissa didn't say anything. She just shot one last glance at Alex, then passed her and walked away.

"Marissa, wait."

The taller girl stopped but did not look back at the blonde. "What is there left to say?"

"What d you expect me to do? Just forget everything that happened and go back to being together with you? It can't work that way and it won't," Alex said with hurt evident in her voice. "I can't do that."

With that Marissa just went on. Not looking back, not answering to Alex's questions. Nothing… She just walked away without any destination.


	7. We were never just friends

So, I had long working days lately, that's why it takes me so long to write but here's the next chapter, tell me what you think about it.

Alex hadn't seen Marissa for one and a half week now. This Monday lessons had started and she saw her nowhere on the campus. She also did some walks on the beach and there she also never saw her walking or sitting somewhere. It was Friday night and since Summer also hasn't heard from her best friend, the two of them decided to go to some bar near by. They entered the bar and without much looking around sat down in a corner of the room. As Alex looked over to the bar she finally saw her. There she sat, drink in hand, head down, alone on some barstool. Summer noticed the daze Alex was in and looked her way. When she saw Marissa sitting there she got a look of concern on her face. Alex just wanted to stand up to walk over to her and talk to her about what happened the other day at the beach when suddenly someone came up next to the brunette. Alex felt her jaw clench when she saw the blonde girl looking seductively, leaning against the bar next to the stool Marissa sat on. Alex recognized that her ex girlfriend wasn't even looking at the girl. How could she not look at her? The blonde was very hot.

"Yeah, now I see how much she still loves me…" Alex continued watching, looking hurt and jealous at the same time.

"Nothing happened until now," Summer said.

"Sure, not yet."

-------

"So you are the famous Marissa Cooper," the blonde girl said playing with her hair.

"If you say so," Marissa answered, still refusing to look at the girl. She finished her drink and mentioned for the bartender to give her another whiskey.

"I thought, maybe we could go somewhere private and have a little fun together."

"I'm not interested. So if you would just leave…" Marissa left her sentence open waving her off with one hand and took the whiskey the bartender gave to her.

"I think your mood would really change in a good way if we would spend a little quality time together." With that the blonde lay her hand on Marissa's.

Marissa shook her off and grabbed her wrist. "Don't ever touch me again or it will turn out very bad for you." Marissa looked at her furiously.

"Oh come on , I know how you are. People told me. I am blonde and pretty and smaller than you, exactly your type."

Marissa stood up and her chair fell down very hard. Then she started yelling a the blonde, everyone in the bar paying attention. "Just back off okay? I don't want you and don't ever think you know me again." With that she gulped down her drink, left the bartender enough money and a good tip on the bar and just walked past the blonde angrily. She came to a stop when she saw Alex, who was still looking at her. She gave her one single glance and then she just rushed out of the bar into the cold night.

"Are you still sure she doesn't love you?" Summer said looking at Alex, who was still staring at the door that Marissa just used to exit the bar. When Alex looked back at Summer, she saw the concern in the shorter ones eyes.

"What is it?" Alex asked in a soft voice.

"She was drinking…again. Not fucking around but still drinking. Her experience with alcohol is not really the best as you know."

"She'll be okay. Let's just go back to the campus and I will check if she's at her room." Alex paid for their drinks and they left the bar. Back at their floor, Summer made a stop in front of their room, hesitating before entering it. "Please make sure she's okay. I can't lose her"

"You won't," Alex said giving her a reassuring smile.

"Ah, Summer, I totally forgot the whole week. Was kind of busy. I wanna meet Seth again, tell him to meet me at the coffee shop on the campus tomorrow at 1p.m."

"I will do that. I'll call him in a few." Summer entered the room and left Alex standing on the empty floor alone with her thoughts.

_  
I don't even know what to say to her. What if she isn't even at her room? Should I search for her then or should I wait for her there? I could always just go back to my room if she wasn't there… no that I can't do because Summer will be even more concerned and I kind of promised to make sure she's okay._

Still in thoughts, Alex walked over to Marissa's room and knocked.

"Leave me alone," a voice that Alex recognized as Marissa's called from out of the room.

"Marissa? It's me…Alex"

"What do you want?" Marissa called from inside of the room but it seemed as if she was nearer then before. _Seems like she's standing behind the door,_ Alex thought.

"I just wanna talk. And I would prefere to not be seperated by a door." Alex said in a soft voice.

The door swung open and Marissa stood before Alex with make up all over her face. She must have been crying…again. _She's defintelly not happy._

When Alex realised that Marissa wasn't about to say anything she looked to the ground.

"May I come in?" She asked her

Marissa took a step aside and gave Alex the opportunity to walk past her. Alex did as offered and sat down on the chair at Marissa's desk, her hands laying in her lap.

"I just…I wanted to apologize. I didn't mean to hurt you and…"Alex was cut off by Marisssa, who was in fact still standing in the middle of the room, keeping a good distance from the blonde sitting at her desk.

"Is that all you are here for? Say you're sorry and hope I will accept so that you don't feel guilty everytime you see me drinking at a bar or crying at the beach?"

"No, I just…" Again Marissa gave her no chance to end her sentence.

"You just thought you would give me one more push so I fall down the cliff on which's edge I stood for the last two years? Make it come to an end? Congratiulations."

"No, fuck Marissa, let me talk and stop interrupting me, you have no idea what I want to say or what I'm here for. I care for you, I really do, whether you believe it or not. It doesn't matter. I'm still serious about what I said at the beach. I can't just forget about the past and get back to being together with you like nothing happened. I just can't do that and you can't blame me for that. But I never said that we couldn't catch up and try to be friends."

"I can't just be friends with you, Alex."

"We were friends once before and it worked," Alex said, dissapoitment evident in her voice.

"We were never just friends, Alex and you know that. It was just our kind of foreplay. It was fully clear were it would lead us to…we were never just friends."

"But we can try to be now?!" Alex tried again desperately.

"No, I can't do that. I would not be able to be near you without wanting more and that would be a death sentence to every good friendship."

"So, what am I supposed to do? What are we supposed to do? Just ignore each other and pretend the other one isn't at the same university and doesn't live on the same floor?"

"That sounds exactly like my plan, yeah," Marissa added and went to the door. She opened it and looked back to Alex. "You should probably go now. I don't think it's good for you to be here any longer."

Alex stood from her chair and went to the door. When she passed Marissa she looked back once more and began to speak. "There's one thing left I need to know. Why didn't you fuck that blonde chick that night?"

"Well, easy to answer. Even fucking around with blonde girls doesn't trick me into being with you anymore and it also doesn't distract me from thinking about you since you're back, so it's a waste of time. Time that I can spend with drinking which is able to fool me into thinking anything."

With that Marissa shut the door and left a stunned Alex looking at her wooden door alone with her thoughts on an empty floor again.

**  
That's it. So please read and review.**


	8. I don't know if I can do that

Oh my god, I kind of hate that chapter but I had a bad day and just felt the urge to write and that's how it turned out. Hope you enjoy it nevertheless.

When Alex woke up the next morning she was a little bit confused. She turned around to look at her clock and it read 12.30 p.m. _Did I really sleep that long?,_ she asked herself. When she looked over to Summer's bed she saw the brunette watching TV. When Summer recognized the moving at the other side of the room she looked at Alex.

"Hey sleepy head. I hope you're fast in dressing and showering."

Alex looked at her room mate, confusion written all over her face.

"Well you wanted to meet Seth, you remember? At 1 p.m. which is well in half an hour." Summer looked at a still confused blonde now sitting on her bed and finally jumping up.

"Oh shit, I totally forgot with all that was going on last night." With that Alex rushed to the bathroom and jumped under the shower. A few minutes later she came out with her towel around her body looking for something to wear and took the first jeans and shirt she saw in her drawer. She jumped to the bathroom again and came out at 12.55 p.m. taking her purse and mumbling a "goodbye" at Summer before running out of the apartment and slamming the door behind her.

When Alex entered the coffee shop she saw Seth already sitting at a table for two, immediately spotting her and waving at her. Alex walked over to him and before she could say anything she was pulled into a tight hug by the curly haired boy. When he loosened the grip on her and gave her some space she felt the urge to breath in very deeply. It took her some time to recover from the strenght of the hug.

"Well hello to you, too," Alex said when she was able to speak again and smiled at Seth who was grinning like an idiot the whole time.

He walked to Alex's chair and pulled it out for her to sit on it like a gentleman. After the blonde sat down he took a seat across from her.

"Oh I missed you so much Alex, you can't even imagine how much I missed you. You just left without saying a word. Without even saying goodbye," he started. "How could you do that to me? I thought we were friends or something like that. And then you just disappeared."

"I know and I'm really sorry about that but I just couldn't deal with any of that and I was definitelly too much of a cowered to say any goodbyes. I just needed to leave and start a new life somewhere else."

After about 3 hours just sitting and chatting about everything that happened the last two years Seth brought up the one topic they avoided the whole time…Marissa.

"So have you seen Marissa since you're back? Have you talked to her?"

"I…We…Well yes we met and talked but it never really ended that good. Either she was drunk and not in the condition to talk or she was crying and bitching at me. Well or even both like last night."

"So you two…" Seth left his sentence open and stared past Alex to the door opening.

"What is it, Seth?" Alex looked at him confused. "What did you want to ask me when…" Alex stopped in her sentence when she felt a hand on her shoulder. It felt so familiar. She turned around and saw a totally messed up Marissa.

"Could we talk…please?" Marissa seemed to be more than nervous, she looked even a little bit anxious and when Alex looked her deeply in the eyes she just lowered her head and stared at the floor.

"Well, I will just leave you two alone, Summer is probably waiting for me so I will just go up to her room. Have fun. And Alex…don't you dare leave again. We definitelly have to continue our conversation." With that Seth just stood up and left without waiting for an answer. Alex looked after a leaving Seth and when she looked at Marissa again she saw that the brunette did not move in any way, her head still down focusing on the floor and standing in front of Alex.

"Wanna sit down?" She asked the brunette and when her former lover looked at her she gave her a reassuring smile. Marissa sat down across from Alex and ordered herself a coffee.

They stayed in silence until Marissa's coffee was brought by a waiter and she gave him a slight smile and a "thanks".

"So…" Alex began. "You wanted to talk?! What is it you wanted to talk about?"

"I…I just…We…" Marissa had trouble forming a full sentence. She took a gulp of her coffee and looked at the cup in both of her hands not continuing to speak.

"Did you sleep _at all_ tonight? You look tired and well no offence, you kind of look like a mess." Alex spoke to her very softly.

"Well, not really I think." Marissa managed to look up at a concerned looking Alex. "It's not your fault, really. Don't you dare think it's your fault, Alex."

"Maybe it is a little bit. I'm sorry for everything I put you through, I really am. I never wanted to-"

"Stop it, I'm the one who needs to apolagize, for turning my back on you, for letting you think I didn't love you which I really did. I loved you a lot - I still do. I'm sorry for just letting you go, letting you leave me. I should have stopped you, I know that. I'm sorry for bitching at you since we met again and I'm definitelly sorry about last night. I guess I'm just sorry for everything."

"It's okay, it really is, I kind of understand you. I just put to much preassure on you back then. You were not ready for that." Alex's voice was very silent. It still hurt her to think back to these times when she left Newport two years ago.

"I was ready, but I didn't notice it myself until you left. And last night when you asked me to be friends I was just such a fool…I…" Marissa stopped talking when tears started pouring down her face. "I'm sorry," Marissa managed to get out but it was more like a whisper. The brunette began to stare at her cup of coffee again.

"You don't have to be," Alex tried to calm her but realized it wasn't working. She took her chair and moved it so she was sitting right next to her former girlfriend and their thighs touched slightly. Marissa winced at the touch but also really liked it.

When Alex noticed that Marissa twitched at her contact she looked at her with concern evident in her eyes. "What is it?" Alex took Marissa's hand forcing her to look at her face.

The brunette met her ex-girlfriends ice blue eyes and froze but melted at the same time. She always loved those eyes.

"Marissa? Is everything alright?"

"Ah, yeah it's just nothing…I think us being friends could actually work," Marissa tried to change the subject.

"Yeah, it might work. I would be very glad if it would but this wasn't nothing. What is it?" Alex wouldn't let the taller girl just change the subject, she just knew that something was wrong.

"I just…I don't know if I can take that…you know?"

"Ähm…no I don't exactly get the point. You don't know if you can take what?" Alex looked at her, confusions written all over her face.

"Seeing you, being close to you, our thighs brushing, your hand on mine, things like that. I don't know if I can do that. I would always want more than that. I would always feel uncomfortable in a way because I would long for something more all the time. Could you live with that? Me staring at you the way I do, knowing that to me you are more than just a friend?"

"Marissa, I don't know what to say."

"Yeah, thought so. Maybe I shouldn't have come here." Marissa loosened her hand from Alex's and was about to stand up as Alex took her hand again and looked into her eyes intensly.

"Wait…I never said that to me you were just a friend. I just said we should try to be friends and that I can't just go back to being together with you, never in one word did I mention that there would not be a way for us in the future."

Marissa was shocked. She looked at the blonde sitting in front of her, giving her a reassuring smile, then down at their interwined fingers. _When did she interwine our fingers?_ Another tear fell down the brunette's cheek and Alex didn't hesitate to brush it away. When Marissa looked into Alex's eyes again she knew she could do that. She could try to be friends with Alex and who knows what the future might bring.

"Everything okay?" Alex asked her.

"Yeah, I think so. I just think I should go, take some time to think about everything." Marissa looked at her former lover seriously.

"I rather think that sleep would be something you need," Alex chuckled a little bit.

"Well, that would also be nice," Marissa said with a little smile playing on her lips. "So that's the plan. See you soon?"

"Sure," Alex responded immediately.

"Great," Marissa beamed at Alex. "See you." With that Marissa loosened the grip on Alex's hand and left.

**So that's it. Thanks for reading and please review what you think about it, I can take criticism.**


	9. Changes Part I

When Marissa woke up the next day after 14 hours of sleep she noticed that she didn't even change clothes before she collapsed onto her bed last evening. She looked up to look what time it was but came to look at her room mate Tashe befor her look crossed her night stand.

"Thought you'd never wake up again, Marissa," the brunette said with a chuckle in her voice. "Did you drink that much? Because when I came home at 12 you were already lying on your bed with your clothes of the day and without even caring for a blanket. So I just took you comforter and covered you up."

"Actually I didn't drink anything yesterday. I just did not sleep at all the night before so I just think I really needed the rest," Marissa said, smiling at Tasha. "And thanks by the way."

"Ah, no problem."

"I think I'm taking a shower first. Maybe we could go out get a coffee or something when I'm ready?!"

"Sounds great," Tasha answered.

Marissa then took some new clothing and headed straight towards the bathroom, closing the door behind her and not even a minute later the shower was running.

***************

As Alex was on her way from one of her lessons to her room she thought about calling Marissa when she realized she didn't even have her number. Well she still had the number from two years but it would definitely not be the same by now. So she decided to get back to her room and ask Summer about the number. She could also stop by but she didn't want to push Marissa so she thought calling might be better at the moment.

As Alex entered the room she noticed Summer lying on her bed watching another season from _The Valley_. _Some things never change, _Alex thought.

"Hey you," she said as she closed the door to their room.

"Hey Alex," Summer answered immediately smiling at her and looking back at the TV in no time.

"Hm, may I join you?" She asked the brunette.

Summer looked at the blonde very confused and gave her an 'Are you kidding?' – look.

"Well, why not?!" She finally said.

"Ah wait, first could you give me Marissa's number. I wanted to call her but I only have her old number."

"It's still the same. She never changed it because she always said that that way you could still reach her if you would want to," Summer shrugged.

Alex looked a bit stunned but then just turned around and gave Summer a confused "Thanks". Then she went to sit on her bed and dialled Marissa's number.

The phone rang and after like an eternity someone took the call.

"Hello?" The voice on the other end said.

"Hey this is Alex. Marissa?"

"No, this is Tasha, Marissa's under the shower, should I leave her a message?"

Alex was shocked. _She's till fucking around, how could she do this to me? _Alex thought to herself.

"Hello?" The voice asked as she did not get a respond.

"Oh, well no it's ok. Bye." With that Alex hung up and just sat still. The next second she stood up, tossing her cell on the bed and mumbling an "Yeah, she really loves me very much" at Summer's direction, taking her coat and running out of the door.

"Alex?" Summer called after her, confused about what just happened.

***************

At about 8 p.m. Summer heard a knock at her door and went to open it, surprised to see Marissa standing in front of her.

"Marissa, what are you doing here?" Summer asked her.

"Well, hello to you too Summer, I'm also glad to see you. Actually Tasha, my room mate told me Alex tried to call me and she answered the phone. We were out for coffee and she must have forgotten to tell me and as she told me I just thought I would stop by and ask her what she wanted," Marissa explained.

"Oh… I was hoping you would be with Alex right now. She's not here, she wanted to watch _The Valley _with me and decided to call you first and then she just hung up and ran out of the door mumbling something like you really seem to love her a lot in a very sarcastic tone."

"Alex wanted to watch _The Valley_ with you?" Marissa looked at her best friend a bit confused. "But wait, what did Alex say when she left?"

"I think she said 'She really loves me very much' or something like that and it seemed like big irony the way she said it." Summer watched Marissa's face fall and looked at her in concern.

"Oh my god, she thought I was fucking Tasha. I thought she knew that she's my room mate and in fact a brunette." Marissa fell down on Summer's bed and her best friend followed her laying an arm aroung her shoulder.

Right then the door swung open and a very drunk Alex with _brown hair_ came barging in. She did not even look over to Summer's bed so she also didn't realize Marissa was staring at her as if she was a ghost. She just walked over to her bed and fell down to it.

"Alex?" Summer and Marissa sad at the same time both very confused.

Alex turned her head to look at them and after a while sat up looking angry at Marissa. "What are you doing here?"

"Well Tasha told me you called when we were out for coffee earlier so I just thought I'd stop by and say 'Hi'," Marissa answered truthfully.

"Why aren't you still fucking her? Or do you only fuck them one time and then turn to the next girl?" Alex was furious. _Who does she think she is?_

"Well first of all because I haven't fucked any girl since I saw you again and secondly, which is less important, she is a brunette and my room mate so that's the reason she took the call while I was in the shower," Marissa answered calmy looking at the confused expression on a very drunk Alex's face. "Why are you drunk at 8 p.m.? And why the hell did you dy your hair?"

To be continued…

**I'm sorry but I'm like so tired and I have to get up for work in 7 hours (at 3 a.m. german time). I try to write again tomorrow. So hope you enjoyed, tell me what you think about it.**


	10. Changes Part II

Part 2 of the last chapter and I'm tired, yes again =) But I want to finish this so I can see where it brings me and how I want to go on. I want to have something that keeps my mind off of work tomorrow or at least entertaines me while I'm working =)

"_Why are you drunk at 8 p.m.? And why the hell did you dy your hair?"_

Alex just looked at Marissa not even realizing that she just asked her something. She was lost in the brunette's green sparkling eyes that looked at her with worry and confusion in it.

"Hello? Earth speking to Alex? Are you still with me?" Marissa waved her hands in front of Alex's face and succesfully fot the newly brunette's attention.

"Yeah. What did you just say?" Alex looked at Marissa questioningly.

"I asked why you are drunk at 8 p.m. and why you died your fucking hair," Marissa asked a bit louder. "Did you hear me know?"

"Yes, I heard you, you don't have to yell that loud."

"Oh, I was just afraid you're not able to hear me again."

"I was just out that's why I'm drunk and well I thought brown suits me, that's why I went to dy my hair."

"Crap! What was really up with you?" Marissa looked at her seriously.

"Damn Marissa, do we really have to do this right now?"

"Yes, defintally!"

"Ok, well I thought you were just fucking around with some blonde chick again so I stormed out of the room and thought about what to do next. I didn't want to be just another blonde girl you want to fuck, so I decided to dy my hear brown and after that I just went to some freaking bar because I didn't believe that I really died them brown and I just got drunk."

"Well first of all, I actually do think brown suits you but you still shouldn't have died your hair. And above all you shouldn't get drunk at that time of the day!"

"Why?" That was all Alex could manage to say. _She thinks it suits me, _Alex thought to herself.

"Because you did is because of me and you shouldn't do such things just because of me. You could have just talked-" Marissa got cut off by Alex.

"Talked to you? I didn't really feel like talking when I just had this girl on the phone, on your cell phone. You don't want me like that? Then just shut the fuck up and leave me alone."

Marissa looked at her,her eyes wide open, not believing what she just heard.

In the background Summer was lying on her bed trying to focus on her episode of _The Valley_. In fact she was just pretending to do so because she found the soap episode going on in her room a lot more intresting.

"Do you really think that? That I would only want you sober and as a blonde? Well rethink it, first of all, you were drunk most of the time we dated and I still was with you and did love you back then and the fact that I love you should tell you that I don't care about your fucking hair colour. And like I just said, it suits you."

"Yeah, really but you only fucked blonde girls to replace me," Alex said looking at her in disbelief.

"Yes, I did, because that's how I had you in my mind, that's how I remembered you and so I searched only for people that reminded me of you how you looked when I last saw you."

"That's so ridiculous," Alex said without really thinking about it but as she noticed that it was actually kind of sweet and demonstrating her love for her in a way – maybe some kind of strange way – it was already too late.

Tears welled up in Marissa's eyes and they were tears of hurt and anger finally spilling out of her eyes. "Well, then maybe that's what I am. Just fucking ridiculous. That's what my love for you is. Ridiculous." With that Marissa turned around and headed to the door. She swung it open and slammed it before Alex could even say something in return.

_What the fuck did just happen? Did I really tell her she's ridiculous? Was I really such a fool to tell her something like that or even speak out something like that? I don't even really think of it like that. God why do I always mess up everathing like that._

Alex was still looking at the door, Marissa just stormed out, not moving an inch away from where she stood. This didn't go unnoticed by Summer.

"What the fuck are you waiting for? Just go for it. Stop her and tell her that you didn't mean it and for God's sake, please at last tell her that you love her too. I can't even stand you two anymore. You're worse than any soap I know. In a soap there's always big drama and missunderstandings, then comes the reunion and for a little while it's okay but I think you skip that little while totally. Just awful." Summer just talked at her not even giving her the chance to interrupt her because she was like never catching a single breath for the whole time of her speech.

Alex turned around to finally look at Summer but without even answering her she took of her coat, got some clothes from her bed and entered the bathroom. Summer heard water running, so Alex seemed to be washing her face and brushing her teeth. As the bathroom door opened again the brunette walked straight to her bed in some boy shorts and a tank top, directly laying down and covering herself up.

"Are you like that stupid?" Summer couldn't believe what she saw happening in front of her eyes. "You can't just go to bed right now. You have to go fix this."

"Right now I'm drunk and I don't need to do anything but sleep. I just can't deal with that right now so please don't bother me right now."

With that Alex turner her back to Summer and faced the wall. After a short while she was sleeping soundly and Summer just rolled her eyes, focusing on _The Valley _again. _This is really much less drama,_ she thought to herself.

I'm sorry for the brown hair but I just love Olivia with her brown hair in House M.D. and well I thought this might fit in the story =)

**Thanks for reading and reviewing and please go on with it.**


	11. You still look beautiful

Guys, I'm so sorry for the lack of updates but I just did some vacation and was with my aunt for some days. Well and the last two days I spent packing because I move to munich and I just never thought I owned so much crap =) Well but I try updating more the next days before I am on vaction in Ibiza for a week from next Thursday on. Hope you enjoy this. Had to think about it a lot and I hope it turned out well.

The next day Alex woke up and felt her head aching like hell. She turned around and opened her eyes but when the light hit her she immediately closed them again. When Summer heard the noise she turned her head to Alex and studied her for a while before starting to talk.

"You really have some big nerves, don't you?! How could you just let her walk off like that? I tried to contact her all night but she wouldn't answer her phone. I was at her room but Tasha said she would not let anyone talk to her, she doesn't want to see anyone. Tasha told me she laid in bed all night just staring at the ceiling untill she finally ound a few hours of sleep. She did not say one single word to her. Are you out of your fucking mind? I thought you love her?"

Summer looked at Alex who finally opened her eyes and just stared at her not saying a word and still lying on her bed.

"I hope it was worth it. My best friend's a mess and it's your fucking fault." Summer stood up and walked to the door. "And by the way, even if you had no hair at all, Marissa would still love you with all her heart. Damn, just open your eyes."

With that Summer stormed out of the room and left a hurt Alex sitting on her bed, fighting for her tears not to fall. But as soon as Summer was out of the room the first tears fell down her cheeks.

Alex stood up and went to the bathroom, exiting it again only about 5 minutes later. She dressed and left the room in no time, walking along the flour to Marissa's room. On her way it came to her that she didn't even know what to say to her. _What can I even say to make it up to her?_

Without thinking much further she just knocked at the door because otherwise she would have thought about it again.

When the door opened a girl with long dark brown hair stood in front of her. _That must be Tasha, _Alex thought to herself.

"Can I help you?"

"I…I came to see Marissa," Alex managed to get out.

"She doesn't want to see anyone. Who are you anyway?"

"I'm…Alex. Look I really need to talk to her, it can't wait."

"I thought you were blonde?" The girl looked at Alex with confusion written all over her face.

"I died my hair yesterday, so can I please talk to her now?"

When Marissa realised who it was at the door she didn't know what to say.

"Well no I don't think so," Tasha said.

"Yeah, well and I don't care what you think." With that Alex walked past Marissa's room mate and walked over to her former girlfriend who was lying on her bed and suddenly sat up as she saw Alex approaching her. she looked back at Tasha.

"Tasha haven't you told her that I don't want to see anyone?"

"Yes, I did but she wouldn't listen," Tasha answered truly and walked over to her bed.

Marissa once again turned her look at Alex and as Alex was about to say something, she cut her off.

"Alex, I can't do this right now, ok? I just can't. I can't fight with you anymore. It breaks me even more and I can't bear any more. Please, just leave."

"I don't want to fight, I just want to talk. Can't we go somewhere private and talk about this?"

"And where would that be?" Marissa looked at her demanding.

"I think I have something in mind. Just trust me if it's possible, ok?!"

"Alex, I don't know. I –"

Marissa wasn't able to say anything else because the former blonde already took her hand and dragged her out of the room, stopping at the door and looking back at Marissa's room mate.

"Bye Tasha," she said and smirked at her.

Alex still held her ex-girlfriend's hand and dragged her along.

"Where are we going?"

As he didn't get an ansßwer she just stopped and loosened her hand from Alex's.

"Alex, I'm a mess and that's also how I look. I can't go anywhere like this. Could you please just tell me where we're going?"

"You still look beautiful. Just trust me, Riss." With that she took her hand again and began walking towards her aim.

_Cause I've never felt like this before  
I'm naked around you  
Does it show?  
You see right through me  
And I can't hide  
I'm naked around you  
And it feels so right._

Marissa just followed her, still kind of confused but she would always trust Alex without thinking about it. It was Alex and Alex always made her trust. She felt safe with her and only her. Nobody ever made her feel that safe. Alex always saw something in her, others never saw. She saw the real Marissa Cooper. The one she always tried to hide.

She was so ddep in thought that she didn't even notice where the were going and as she shook her head to focus on their location again she noticed it… the beach.

I'm sorry, it's kind of short but it's 4 a.m. in Germany. I got home about an hour ago and couldn't sleep. I know it sucks but I need this chapter to go on with my story ad didn't want to let you wait any longer for an update.

Thanks for reading. Please review._  
_


	12. Naked around you

So, it's late again =) It's 1.05 a.m. in Germany. But still I decided to update for you because I'm on vacation in Ibiza from tomorrow night on and after that I'm moving to munich so you will have to wait a little for my next update. I'm really sorry for that but here's an update that I hope you will enjoy.

_The beach? Of all of the places she could bring me to, she brought me to the beach to talk?_ When Marissa looked around she noticed where they exactly stopped and found it to be the place Alex found her kneeling in the water and where she went out on her. Alex had her back turned to her and looked out to the ocean. _Not really a happy memory. Why would she want to talk here?_

"Why did you take me here?" Marissa asked her when she realized Alex wasn't going to turn around or speak to her soon.

"Because I wanted to talk," the brunette answered without taking her look away from the ocean.

_Why is it that I trust her so much? She's the only one making me trust that way. Why did I just let her drag me here?_ Marissa began thinking that this was a mistake.

_I wake up in the mornin'  
Put on my face  
The one that's gonna get me  
Through another day  
Doesn't really matter  
How I feel inside  
This life is like a game sometimes_

Marissa shook of her thoughts and just decided to go for it. "That's not what I meant. Why did you take me _HERE_?" She exaggerated the last word.

"Well, first thing we always went to the beach when we were still together in Newport, second thing we had our first kiss on the beach, third is because here I was nearly sure that you really still have feelings for me and it's a place that's almost always deserted and well as a side effect, the ocean always kind of calms me," Alex explained without even taking a short time to think about the question and still not turning to face Marissa.

Marissa walked up to her and stood beside her also looking to the ocean. "Well you dragged me here, so go ahead. Talk!"

"I just….I…" The former blonde trailed off and finally turne around to look at the girl her heart was melting for.

"You just what?" There wasn't any anger in her voice. Marissa saw the feelings in her ex-girlfriend's eyes and the tears welling up. Her words were soft and she even took a step forward to Alex and looked into her ice blue eyes sparkling back at her.

_Then you came around me  
The walls just dissapeared  
Nothin' to surround me  
Keep me from my fears  
I'm unprotected  
See how I've opened up(oh)  
You've made me trust  
_

"I wanted to say how sorry I am. I was drunk and I don't think that you're ridiculous. I really don't think that."

"No you just think my love for you is ridiculous. For me there's no big difference," the lanky girl said anger coming up in her again.

"No it wasn't meant that way. I just… you didn't even give me a chance to explain. I thought it was ridiculous that you wanted to replace me with them. I brought it out wrong and maybe ridiculous is a very hard word but if you ask me in fact that's what it is."

"Ah, so why is that? What is so ridiculous in me trying to heal my heart. I could't just move on so I tried replacing you instead of forgetting you which I never ever could."

"Why didn't you just call me instead of all this drinking and fucking around?"

"Oh, you really would have answered the phone or would have talked to me if I was on the phone? Who are you tryining to fool. I knew you back then and I knew there was no chance for me to get you back."

"Good point…" Alex broke the eye contact with Marissa and looked down on the ground and then back to the ocean. Then she decided to sit down. _This will probably take some time, _ she thought to herself. When she noticed Marissa still standing she looked up at her and their eyes met again. Patting the place next to her she offered Marissa to sit down next to her.

"Look, I don't want to fight about this anymore. I just really wanted to say how sorry I am. For getting drunk, for bitching at you and well for dying my hair because of this stupid reason."

"Don't have to be sorry about the hair, actually I like it better than the blonde. But I really miss the purple streak."

"Actually that streak went away with my old me when I left Newport," Alex said, her eyes fixed on the ocean and trying to picture herself two years ago.

"So spill it. What happened to you after leaving?" Marissa akes curiously.

"Marissa, it's really a long story and not _that _interesting," she tried to talk her out of wanting to hear the story but Marissa just looked at her expectingly, raising an eyebrow and waiting for her to start with her story.

"Well, I wanted to go back to my parents but was to afraid at the beginning so I crashed at Jodie's and…" Alex stopped when she noticed Marissa tensing at her sentence. "What is it?"

"I just hate that chick. I'm sorry. Go ahead."

"Ahm… Jodie actually helped me a lot and we became best friends in the last two years and to calm you, she has a girlfriend. They had their one year anniversery last month. So she let me crash at her house and I took a job at a bar to earn some money until I was sure I'm really ready to go to my parents. After 2 and a half months I finally decided it was time for it and I knew the new school year would start soon and since I wanted to go back to school I needed to hurry up. My mother was really happy to see me again but my father was a little bit distrustful. He thought I came back because I ran out of money but when I told them I wanted to go back to school and live with them until graduation they welcomed me back in their house and to my surprise they never mentioned my sexuality. But well maybe it's just blocking it out so they don't have to deal with it. After graduation I started to think about what to do next and after thinking a lot I decided to go to college."

"So what do you study?" Marissa listened to Alex with fascination. That was a side of Alex she definitelly didn't know.

"Medicine. I…want to become a doctor…" Alex looked up at Marissa half expecting her to laugh about it and was surprised when she saw an interested an serious look on her former girlfriend's face.

"A doctor. My Alex a doctor. Hard to imagine but what I try to imagine is you being really hot in a lab coat," Marissa sad, smirking at Alex. "But why do you want to become a doctor anyway?"

"Well, my mom died last year and that's when I thought about it first," Alex said looking down to her feet.

"I'm sorry," Marissa said unsure whether to comfort the girl or not. She finally decided to lay an arm aound the brunette's shoulder and thought it was right since the former blonde laid her head on her shoulder and scooted into sort of an embrace to Marissa.

"I hope you don't mind me asking but what did she die of?"

"She had Huntington's Chorea. It's genetic and there's a 50% chance that I have it, too."

Marissa found herself unable to say anything. _Alex was dying? No, damn that couldn't be, she just found her and is able to be friends with her again and maybe even more. She can't be dying._

"I don't know what to say," she told Alex honestly.

"It's okay. I'm fine with it."

"But you don't know if you have it or not?"

"No, I don't and to be honest, I don't wanna know."

"Okay, I'm sorry."

"Never mind. like I said, I'm fine with it. We should just enjoy the ocean and not think about something like that. It would ruin everything."

"Ruin what?" Marissa said looking out on the ocean when it finally hit her. She looked back at Alex that was still facing the water. "The tide just changed…"

With that Alex turned to face Marissa. "Yeah, I still love it to watch the tide change." She looked into her former lover's sparkling green eyes and found Marissa moving closer to her and when they were only inches apart Marissa locked her eyes with her's as if she was waiting for admision. Alex didn't wait a second and closed the gap to crash her lips on Marissa's with a soft but still lingering kiss. After a few minutes they broke apart because of the lack of oxigen becoming an issue.

Alex looked at the brunette in front of her. Her eyes were still closed and she seemed to be in a daze. When the lanky girl opened her eyes she looked the former blonde right into the eyes and smiled at her.

"Wow, that was definitelly something," she said smirking at her girlfriend?!

_I'm trying to remember  
Why I was afraid  
To be myself  
And let the covers fall away  
Guess I never had someone like you  
To help me fit in my skin  
_

**That's it for now. Song used is Avril Lavigne's "Naked" and it's describing Marissa's feelings. Hope you enjoyed it and it's better than the last one's. It's 2.45 a.m. now and I reeaaally need my bed right now. Thanks for reading this and I still love getting reviews to know if you like my story.**


	13. Over and over

**So first of all, I'm really sorry for letting you wait. I know it's been 3 weeks since my last update but I was on vacation (Ibiza^^) for a week and then I moved to munich, was on the Oktoberfest two times and my brother celebrated his 30****th**** birthday. So you see, I was kind of busy. But here it is. And don't even think we reach the end now =) I'm just beginning! Enjoy!**

After their kiss on the beach nothing else was said. They just stared at each other, thinking about everything that happened. After a while Marissa stood up leaving a still thinking Alex sitting on the sand alone. She held out her hand but Alex didn't seem to realize it.

"Alex?"

The blonde finally looked up to her a little surprised but didn't say anything.

"We should head back, it's getting late."

With that the former blonde took her hand and stood up. They walked back to the campus hand in hand, not saying a word until they reach the smaller brunette's room. Again Alex didn't say a word, she just stared into the nothingness.

"Alex?" Marissa tried to get her attention with her soft voice and her hand caressing the other's cheek.

"Yeah?" Alex answered almost whispering and closing her eyes at the touch of the lanky girl, images of the past flashing back into her mind.

You make me,  
You break me,  
You build me up,

_to tear me down.*_

"Is everything okay?" Marissa looked at Alex, her eyes full of concern and for a second the ice blue eyes met hers but then turn to the ground immediatelly.

"Sure. Well, I guess we see each other some time, right?" The brunette tried to form a smile on her lips but failed.

"Of course, well I hope so." Marissa leaned down and kissed Alex on the cheek and then turned to walk to her own room. The former blonde was left there standing and still felt her ex' kiss on her cheek, touching it lightly with her own hand. After a few seconds she turned around and opened the door to her room, hoping Summer wouldn't ask any questions.

Well, of course she thought wrong. As soon as she opened the door, Summer stood up from her bed and looked at her hopefully. "How did it go? Are you-"

"Don't even start. I'm sure Marissa will tell you everything in detail so I would be very glad if you would just let me sleep and find some rest."

Without waiting for an answer she went to the bathroom, changed into some boy shorts and a wifebeater and lay down on her bed.

_It feels like everyday stays the same  
It's dragging me down and I can't pull away  
So here I go again__  
__Chasing you down again  
Why do I do this?**_

On the other end of the floor Marissa entered her room and fell face down onto her bed, turning on her stereo with the remote control. Sometimes it isn't that bad when your room mate is always at her boyfriend's room, this way no one is asking questions.

_What was wrong with her? After we kissed she was so distant. Maybe it wasn't what she wanted at all, _Marissa's thoughts were driving her crazy and the song playing in the background wouldn't help.

_On this bed I lay  
Losing everything  
I can see my life passing me by  
Was it all too much  
Or just not enough  
Wake me up, I'm living a nightmare***_

_What if she realizes that she doesn't want me anymore? I don't think I could live with that. I can't lose her, not again, _Marissa thought. _But she kissed me, it's not like she didn't want this to happen…Or was it just on the spur of the moment?_

In her own room Alex was crying silent tears, hoping Summer would not hear them.

_What did I do? What did I put myself into?-It's not like you didn't want that to happen. You waited for it the last 2 years.-But she will hurt me…again. I know she will.-How do you know if you don't try?_

_What the fuck? Now I'm really talking to myself in my thoughts. Okay that's so not normal. Alex, you have to focus. God, could Summer please turn of that music? It's depressing._

_Over and over, over and over  
I fall for you  
Over and over, over and over  
I try not to**_

Without noticing it a sob came out and more tears ran down her face. She just couldn't help it. All those memories of her and Marissa…like they happened just yesterday. The pink laundry, the rainy day when Marissa kissed her like there was no tomorrow, the bonfire…

Suddenly Alex felt a weight on her bed and a hand running through her hair.

"Didn't go that well?"

"Depends…"

"You're not back together, are you?"

"Well, I don't really know. But she might think we are." With that she turned around to look at Marissa's best friend, still tears in her eyes.

"What do you mean, she might think?"

"Well…we kissed…at the beach…"

"Like your first kiss?"

"What? How do you know about our first kiss?"

"Like I said, she told me everything after you left, so also about your first kiss. But that's not the point. Why aren't you sure about this? You love her."

"Yes, of course I do…"

"So what is the problem?"

"I don't think I can do that. Not again."

"So what you're trying to tell me, is that you kissed her and now you just want to leave it like that? What the fuck is going on with you. Did you want to hurt her? Is that what this is about?" Now Summer was standing in front of her bed and yelling at her like crazy.

"Look, Summer it's not what it looks like for you. I didn't want to hurt her. I just wanted to say I'm sorry and talk to her, be friends. It just kind of happened. And in a way I wanted this to happen, but I just don't think I can go through all of this again. It destroyed me once and I can't depend on her again."

"Ok, you didn't want this to happen but it did happen and know Marissa is hoping to get you back. She longed for this the last 2 years. If you tear her down you will destroy her. She will drink even more than before. Who knows how long it will take her until she takes painkillers again like she did in TJ three years ago? Damn, Alex you have to decide. Take it or leave it."

_So many thoughts that I can't get out of my head  
I try to live without you, every time I do I feel dead  
I know what's best for me  
But I want you instead  
I'll keep on wasting all my time**_

_I can't keep wasting my time. She will hurt me again and I can't live with that. I have to end this. NOW, _Alex thought to herself as she heard the lyrics of the song playing along.

"Well, if that's it I think it's time for me to go." With that Alex stood up and through a few things in a bag.

"Yeah, and that's it, you're just going to leave, again. You don't even give her a chance. You're such a coward. And where are you going to live anyway?"

"Well, Jodie lives near, so I think I will live with her again."

"Sure, Marissa will love to hear that."

"I won't tell her, so if you don't tell her, she will never know. Bye Summer. Take care of her."

That was it, she just left Summer standing there in the middle of the room and looking at the door that Alex just slammed shut.

I will not die, I'll wait here for you  
I feel alive, when you're beside me  
I will not die, I'll wait here for you  
In my time of dying***

I won't give up this time. I will fight for her, no matter what. I just need to talk to her, that's it. If I can talk to her and tell her that I really love her, if I can just show her, then she will leave her fears behind. God, this fear in her eyes, the distance. It almost killed me. I need to talk to her, now.

Marissa just stood up from her bed and stormed out of her room, almost running into her room mate Tasha. "Sorry, Tash, I'll explain it later," she said and continued running. At the end of the floor she saw a figure walking around a corner but didn't pay much attention and knocked on the room of her best friend and her ex-girlfriend.

Summer opened the door and looked at Marissa, knowing this will not end up in a good way.

"Is she here, Summer?"

*** Better think again – Submersed**

**** Over and over – Three Days Grace**

***** Time of dying – Three Days Grace**

**That's it for now. Please read and review. I hope I will find time to write soon because from next week on I begin studying. I don't know if I find a lot of time for writing then. **

**Hope you still enjoy the story.**


	14. I won't let go

**I know, i haven't written in a long time. University started two weeks ago so it's all a bit stressful:D Hope you enjoy it!**

* * *

"_Is she here, Summer?"_

Summer just stared at her, not knowing what to say to her. She searched for some words in her head that wouldn't hurt her too much.

"Marissa, I… look-" she started but didn't get to finish her sentence.

"She left, didn't she?"

"Yes!"

"When?"

"Just about a minute before you came here."

"So it was her… I have to go."

With that Marissa ran down the floor. She had to stop her, she just had to. She could not lose her again. It would kill her. Eat her inside out.

_I don't want this moment to ever end  
Where everything's nothing without you  
I'll wait here forever just to, to see you smile  
'Cause it's true, I am nothing without you*_

Alex did not run anymore, she just walked as soon as she was out of the building, not a normal pace, but still not running. She held her head down, not looking at anyone until she felt a hand on her arm stopping her. She looked up and she was just glad that it was not Marissa that she came face to face with.

"Seth, what do you want?" She said, somewhat annoyed that he stopped her when she just wanted to escape.

"Where are you going?"

"Just…nowhere. None of your business."

"Oh back to bitchy, I see. What's up Alex?"

"Just leave me alone, Seth. Please, back off!"

He just smirked at her. "I can't believe it. What ever happened to you in the last years, it made you grow up. But as soon as Marissa is back in your life and something is wrong, you just become the Alex from 2 years ago and escape. Very brave of you, honey."

"You don't get to judge me, Seth!" Alex was livid. She just glared at him. _Who does he think he is?_

"Oh, yes I do. Do you really think this will change anything?"

As Alex was about to answer his question, he just held his hand up in front of her face to stop her from talking.

"No it won't. It was rhetorical, you don't have to answer it."

_Through it all, I made my mistakes  
I stumble and fall, but I mean these words*_

Marissa never stopped running, she knew if she would, there was no chance to catch up with Alex.

When she raced out of the building she had 3 possibilities to turn to. She looked around for any sign of the brunette her heart ached for.

_I want you to know  
With everything I won't let this go, these words are my heart and soul  
I'll hold on to this moment you know, 'cause I'll bleed my heart out to show  
That I won't let go*_

When Marissa looked straight ahead she saw her on the other side of the street. She felt the need to run over to her but she couldn't move. There she stood and only a street seperated her from the girl she loved but she couldn't bring her feet to go over there. She just stared at her.

"Seth, you don't understand, I just can't do that. Not again." All of the anger left Alex and all that was left was her desperation.

When she realised that he didn't answer her she looked up at him noticing that he didn't even look at her anymore.

"Seth?" She looked at him with annoyance written all over her face.

Finally he looked back at her smiling warmly. "Well, maybe I don't understand but perhabs she will," he said looking past her at Marissa.

With that Alex turned around and saw Marissa standing on the other side of the street, not moving an inch. She just stood there staring at her but her eyes didn't seem to face her, she seemed far off. Alex could see that, even when the street was seperating them. She knew that look on her face.

_Thoughts read unspoken, forever in doubt  
Pieces of memories fall to the ground  
I know what I didn't have so, I won't let this go  
'Cause it's true, I am nothing without you*_

_Why can't I just move and walk over to her? Why can't she come here?-Don't be ridiculous , she was about to leave you again. Why would she come over to you?-But she loves me. Otherwise she would just walk away instead of staring at me.-Yeah, she loves you that's why she wanted to leave. Very wise._

Marissa just shook her head, trying to shake all of those thoughts out of her head. As she looked at Alex again, she realised her ex wasn't about to move. She looked to the ground, trying to figure out how to go on.

_She doesn't want me anymore, I should just face this fact._

Once more she looked up at Alex, who was still looking at her and knew she had to let her go…again. So she just turned around and as she felt a tear running down she made no effort to wipe it away.

"Aren't you going to stop her?" Seth looked at her in disbelief as he realised she was not going after her.

"Why would I? She just decided she doesn't want me. That means I can leave, like I was about to before you stopped me."

"Are you really that fucking stupid Alex. She loves you, you should no that by now. She just thinks you don't want _her_ anymore."

"Why would she think that?"

"Well, maybe because you're about to leave her again or because you didn't move when you saw her standing there."

Alex didn't say anything after that. She just looked down at her feet.

"God Alex, you know what? Just leave if you don't love her anymore but stop hurting her."

Without saying anything else he just left. Left her standing like this, wondering what to do. Looking at the spot where Marissa stood just a minute ago she just didn't know what to do anymore.

_I love her. I really do. But what if she disappoints me again? _Alex sighed. _Well you never know unless you try._

Alex walked back over the street to head for the university again and to find Marissa.

_She's probably with Summer now. I should just go back to my room._

_I want you to know  
With everything I won't let this go, these words are my heart and soul  
I'll hold on to this moment you know, 'cause I'll bleed my heart out to show  
And I won't let go*_

When she came back to her room she took the handle of the door and was about to open it when she rethought it and knocked at her own room.

A few seconds later Summer opened the door. She was angry no doubt.

"Summer, is-"

"Who do you think you are?"

"Summer just let me see her."

"She's not here. She went after you and I tried to call her but she won't pick up her phone."

"She didn't come back here?"

"What do you mean? You saw her?"

"Yes, from over the street but she didn't move, didn't cross the street to talk to me, she just turned around and left. Where would she- oh, yeah now I know."

She went past Summer, threw her bag on her bed and left the room.

"Thanks Summer, see you later."

"What…?" Summer didn't get an answer anymore, Alex was already running down the floor.

When she came to the beach she immediately spotted her, sitting near the water, watching the waves.

"Marissa?"

"Leave me alone." She didn't even look at her.

"Riss…" Alex trailed off, not sure of what to say to the girl.

"Alex?" Suddenly she turned around and was surprised when she saw the former girl standing there behind her.

"Can I sit down?"

"Sure," was all she said, looking at the ocean again.

_In front of your eyes, it falls from the skies  
When you don't know what you're looking to find  
In front of your eyes, it falls from the skies  
When you just never know what you will find_

I don't want this moment to ever end  
Where everything's nothing without you*

* * *

***Sum 41 - With You**

**That's it for now. I'm sorry for making you wait that long. Hope you enjoyed reading! I didn't go on because their talking seems pretty important and I don't want to hush things and let the dialogue to turn out shitty. Please leave a review and tell me what you think about it.**


End file.
